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The search begun two years back , beautiful mountain scenes near Nagpur, on the road connecting Nagpur and  Triyambkeshvar. Triyambkeshvar is one of the twelve renouned jyotirlingums. We had to perform some Kalsarpdosh prayers there. The small town surrounded by bluish mountains, and black clouds in the sky, had everything encrypted in the name of Shiva. The holy temple had an amazing statue of lord Shiva. It is the only one India, where all the three supreme deity were shown under one statue, which they call lord Triyambakeshvar, the one who is all of them; Vishnu, Shiva and Brahma. Many found their Shiva there, i could see their eyes, but for me the search just begun.

Shiva, the god of transformation, he destroys and transform. He is god of war, he is master of all mother goddesses like Shakti, Kali,Durga etc. He is god of ghosts and demons.He is the one holding poison in his throat and has ash all around his body. He is the one with third eye. What Shiva signifies, is it just a pictorial representation of a god or there exists something hidden in the depiction of lord Shiva. I got almost zeroed when i read about what Swami Ramakrishna Paramhamsa said about Shiva, he said that he could see Shiva standing near to every burning pyre, in the form of an ascetic.

The search got momentum after reading Da Vinci Code. It was like i could feel the codes hidden the description of Shiva, after reading the Dan Brown’s master piece. Shiva the destroyer, what could be perfectly matched to this? Zero, yes that is zero. Do Shiva signifies zero? Zero ,  the destroyer in any equation. Zero, also signifies, neutrality, the equals  in positives and negatives. Strangely Shiva too signifies neutrality, in his depiction of Ardhnarishwar, of half man and half women. Zero, though in an amazing way, depicts annihilation, the process when matter and antimatter combine to form immense energy and leaving behind nothing, zero. Also, why the symbol of zero is circular?Circle in its geometric form represent annihilation, it has symmetry of lines passing through it. Also, remember the three supreme form of energies in  universe,according to Hindus, they are Shiva,Vishnu and Brahma.The Triyambakeshwar shows all the forms as a form of one god,all three as a part of one Lord Triyambakeshwar.Triyambakeshwar is also a form of Shiva, so does that mean that all three supreme gods are actually a part of one Shiva, or adding them up, we have one Shiva, the zero. Strangely, everything in the universe too add up to form zero, according to science.There is neutrality in universe. Does this not what Triyambakeshwar shows? I can’t say,it too premature to say.

Few days back, we went for a small journey to Himachal,god’s own land. Amazingly huge mountains, icy tops. I saw a Aghori saint there in one of the temples, ash all around his body, and body language of a small child. His eyes reminded me of ascetic depictions of Shiva, like he does not need anything, he does not care about anything.Asceticism, the feeling of having nothingness, the feeling of caring nothing material, nothing, means zero.I got another point to add to my logic behind Shiva. Sitting beside him was a below ten years old child, begging for food. No one there was actually interested in helping that child, but that saint went ahead and gave the child all the fruits he had been carrying, which left him with almost nothing. Asceticism, was that asceticism?What ever that was, one thing was sure that it was not zero, and there I lost my Shiva again, but probably the child got his.

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a letter to god.

dear god,

first of all thank you for creating me, i think u had a tough time bearing me in the heavens, so u sent me here , so u sent me here, on earth, and that though in a time when rivers are smelling bad, when the air is filled with smoke, when the bacterias and viruses are more stronger than before, when nations are volatile,when humanity is confined to speeches only, when earth is dancing wild wearing storms and droughts both,when man is slowly becoming more like an animal,when kids are grown on powdered milk, when olds die at the age of 50-60, when youngs are drunk and drugged,when animals are are thrown out of jungles, when fishes are thrown out of sea,when the sun glows to burn the earth and when seeing all these people say “all is well”.

But i believe this is a part of your teachings, those who learn their lessons survive and those who don’t are perished.

There are men who are saying that god doesnot exist, but i know they pray to you when they are alone, asking you for help, sometimes even trying to bribe you. And for men who forget your presence, you check them by sending devils, devils in form of diseases, disasters,distress. anyways, by the end of their lives, they all know where they are going, accepting your presence.

There are many who created devils using your tools of science and mathematics. For them , i know u have made a special cell in hell.

But there are few of those who are trying to understand what u have created billions of years ago, saying that one day they will solve this puzzle of your creation in what they say a grand unification theory. however when asked to judge the nature of irrational numbers or complex numbers, they all just make funny faces like a 5 years old.

Anyways now, that u have sent me here, please do something to correct the current situaton here. i know u are angry for we have not kept the your gift the way u gave us, but on behalf of entire human race and also those who are inhuman, i say sorry! i know u will not do something overnight or visible. But atleast provide these newly born souls the courage to listen their soul’s voice, courage to act against the current systems,  courage to revert the changes that made your gift untidy, and last but not the least, courage to be a human.

with respect and love,

A part of your soul.

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Let the game begun

No fear, no greed,

No rules, no heed,

And u r ready to hit me hard,

So, let the game begun.

———————————————–

Enough blood, enough pain,

Enough fire, enough rain,

And u can smell my flesh.

So,let the game begun.

————————————————-

Brutal eyes , brutal gage,

Brutal vibes, brutal rage,

And u hold the gun,

So, let the game begun.

——————————————————-

Mortal lies, mortal blame,

Mortal empathy, mortal shame.

And u think u r immortal,

So, let the game begun.

————————————————————-

lethal u, lethal game,

lethal desire,lethal name,

But this time u face me,

So, let the game begun.

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many think that if they yell a few taunts and sledge someone after some road side spat, they are courageous , they are  strong. Some think if they build large muscles like some Hollywood actor, they would be courageous and strong. But let me tell you what real courage means, what real strength is.

i was waiting  for metro rail to arrive at heavily populated Rajiv Chowk Station. there were waiting lines at every token counter, of let me say at least  20. policeman were busy  doing their routine check. At the last of one of such lines was a man carrying two bags with one hand, whereas the other hand held two crutches. on one of his shoulders was sitting a boy, who didn’t have the portion of legs below the knee, for both legs.  the boy was sitting facing perpendicular to the man’s face on his shoulder. and the most amazing thing was, that unlike others there who were a bit frustrated due to long lines and humid weather, the man was smiling and saying something to the boy, sitting on his shoulder. They both were laughing, like they had a great day, and were discussing something. i was amazed to see them laughing, all i could think was “why they are so happy, they are in no better situation”. And this is what I say courage and strength, to defy the odds of life and to smile over moments you cherish. That was amazing,  and let me tell you , their courage didn’t go wasted, like me a policeman also noticed the same, he went to the man…told him to go to bag-checks, meanwhile he purchased tokens for the man and his boy.

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In winters of 07 , month of Jan, I was waiting for Gomti Express at Kanpur Station, which was scheduled to come there at 6:50 am.

“Gomti Express is running late by 1.5 hours, we are very sorry for inconvenience” – announcement  was made. In a chilling morning, where there was all fog, and we didn’t have the visibility of even more than 50 m , hearing such announcements killed everyone of us standing there. They should not only be sorry but also should have paid us half of our ticket money back. But then Gomti had this fame of running late, I cursed myself  for reserving ticket in this train.

“Due to some heavy fog in between ,Gomti Express is running late by 7 hrs, we are  very sorry your  inconvenience”

“what the hell, we should this be done to me only” I thought, as if I was the only one there. So I decided to go back home, and then come there after 7hrs, around 1pm.

Any ways , the almighty Gomti express finally arrived at station at 1:30 pm.  “That’s not too bad” I thought , consoling myself  “I will be arriving my home by 7 or 8 pm, not too bad, its already a bit of  sunshine in the sky at this part of time ”.

After 3 hours of run, the so called Gomti Express, reached near to Phaphoond, a small place near Itawa. And all I could think was why this was called Express, it is even worse than passenger trains.

Suddenly, we heard sound of metal churning against each other, with a sudden jerk ahead. What it meant? It meant, that someone had pulled the chain, applying emergency breaks. I looked outside the window, dozens of men were leaving the train , going into the nearby paddy fields.

“Polytechnic guyz, they always do this, it their village across these paddy fields” said, the old men sitting in front of me. My first response was-“were they  some students?..they were complete men, what kind of polytechnic college do they go, elderly?”. However my second response was the one which I believe is necessary for transformation of this country –“How could someone do this, these people should be put behind the bars and thousand bamboo sticks should kiss their ass”.

“This is Mulayam Singh Yadav’s election constituency” said Mr. AllKnowing sitting in front of me.

“Mulayam Singh Yadav,the man, who hired one lack Yadavs in UP police, like building his own army” I thought and immediately  took my second suggestion back.

Even after 6:00 pm , we  travelled  hardly 50-60 kms  ahead of Itawa.  Thanks to half a dozen chain pulling and the mess up created by all the trains running late. They said that Gomti was giving passes to other trains running late. Now I knew that this train deserved to be enlisted along with Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King, what a big heart, was giving passes to all other trains. And I saw a few passenger trains also passing by it, I  swear to god, I felt like jumping on the track and killing myself. How could people paying not even half of the money that I paid, got the privilege to travel  faster than me, how in a priority list, they come ahead of me?. Anyways, its Indian Rail.

9:00 pm in the night , and we were just half  the distance form Ghaziabad. And I m not trying to scare you , but It was a real hell there, in the train and outside too. I can’t tell you  exactly where the train was , because outside there was absolutely no visibility, not even 5-10 m, and the train had been standing there for last 1.5 hrs or so. I walked outside to see the situation, out of frustration, and all I saw was whiteness, as if we were drowned in some pond of milk. I couldn’t blame it on driver, because if I  could not walk out there for more than 2-3 steps, how could he run a train. And adding to pain, was hunger. There was no pantry nothing in the train. I was  too hungry, and same was the situation of many small children inside the train. Only difference was that I was not crying. The entire Train was echoing with the sound of numerous children crying, I can’t tell you how I felt, like in hell. I reached out for my mobile phone….no signals. “Thank you god” I screamed inside my frustrated mind, and thought God would have replied “ur welcome son!”. And then there started a sudden cold breeze. I thought this would wipe out the fog, and we could move ahead. But, hey, I was in hell that day, u remember?. Instead of wiping out fog, that breeze started to chill my bones. “Well, Mr.Superman, u did not carry a blanket, now get your ass kicked by breeze ”I scolded myself, when all my scientific logics failed to tell me why the hell did the wind not wipe out this shitty fog.  Suddenly the train started moving. Ahh…what I felt at that moment was like I got Nirvana. I wanted to tell the driver that moment a thanks for saving my life.  I wanted him to be awarded as “Life saving Hero” from President of India. With a few small stoppages, this time the train moved with a consistent and marvelous speed of around 20 miles per hr. And I was happy, in between a lot screaming children, who I thought had saved their energies and screaming for this day only and  with an empty stomach, who was consolidated by my brain, after my eyes sent my brain the signal of train moving ahead towards home. All I had to do, was to keep breathing, as was well said In the movie ‘Cast Away’, so that I could reach my home alive.

It was 4:00 am in the morning, we were in Khurja, means near to Gzb. I my functionally dead mobile gave me surprise by ringing the message tone, means it had got network signals. I called my home, and asked them to  come to station to receive me, and to bring a blanket if they could not carry a fire burner in the car, to give my frozen bones some heat. And finally at 6:00 am we arrived Gzb, home sweet home, alive after fighting almost around 24 hours with cold and fog. At the station the Chaiwaala smiled at me, and I could not avoid taking my legs to his stall. A cup of hot tea, at 6 am , in a foggy morning, after a journey which crippled me mentally, was the real taste of life. And then I knew, why it is better to cancel the trains, then running them in such situation. So I support the decision of Indian rail, every time they cancel a train, as now  know they save thousands of lives by doing this.

 

 

 

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Catalyst: Powerful words

God bless us everyone
We’re a broken people living under loaded gun
And it can’t be outfoght
It can’t be outdone
It can’t out matched
It can’t be outrun
No

God bless us everyone
We’re a broken people living under loaded gun
And it can’t be outfoght
It can’t be outdone
It can’t out matched
It can’t be outrun
No

And when I close my eyes tonight
To symphonies of blinding light
(God bless us everyone
We’re a broken people living under loaded gun
Oh)
Like memories in cold decay
Transmissions echoing away
Far from the world of you and I
Where oceans bleed into the sky

God save us everyone,
Will we burn inside the fires of a thousand suns?
For the sins of our hand
The sins of our tongue
The sins of our father
The sins of our young
No

God save us everyone,
Will we burn inside the fires of a thousand suns?
For the sins of our hand
Linkin Park The Catalyst lyrics found on http://www.directlyrics.com/linkin-park-the-catalyst-lyrics.html
The sins of our tongue
The sins of our father
The sins of our young
No

And when I close my eyes tonight
To symphonies of blinding light
(God save us everyone,
Will we burn inside the fires of a thousand suns?
Oh)
Like memories in cold decay
Transmissions echoing away
Far from the world of you and I
Where oceans bleed into the sky

Like memories in cold decay
Transmissions echoing away
Far from the world of you and I
Where oceans bleed into the sky

Lift me up
Let me go (x10)

God bless us everyone
We’re a broken people living under loaded gun
And it can’t be outfoght
Can’t be outdone
It can’t out matched
It can’t be outrun
No

God bless us everyone
We’re a broken people living under loaded gun
And it can’t be outfoght
Can’t be outdone
It can’t out matched
It can’t be outrun

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Stupidity:-
The inefficient action, which is a result of lack of knowledge, lack of wisdom and lack of independent thought process, causing dis balance in the harmony of any existing system.

Modes of Communication:-
stupidity is a volatile thought, and it can spread like a thought itself. u watch someone doing something, u hear someone saying something or u feel something which is meant to be felt, and then u let the thoughts behind these actions to encroach your mind, resulting in similar patterns of action at some different time-frame. This may not be the time when such actions should be performed, result:-stupidity.

examples:-
A: they say drinking annihilates tension and stress.
B: i can tell u, i felt the same.
Now, C even before drinking knows that it is a good thing.

Tomorrow’s news:-
C hit x number of people after drinking, and got himself y years of term in jail.

Who is stupid:- not A, he told what he believes. But unknowingly he migrated his thought to B and C.
B:- not Stupid, he told just what he experienced.
C:-Stupid. believed only that piece of information which is being told by A and B, without analyzing on his own knowledge or a weak thought process.

Day after tomorrow:
A: Look @ C , what a stupid, drinking is such a bad thing.
Reversal of thought , caused by a reverse or opposite action. The opposite of stupidity is wisdom, so A got wisdom, due to actions committed by C, which were actually a result of stupidity
, caused by thoughts communicated by A.So , in a sense, A purified his thoughts, through stupidity of C.

Had there been no C, A would have never got this wisdom, he could have never purified his thoughts.

Next Week:
A: Drinking is such a bad habit.
Idea transmitted to B
B: yes, i felt the same after drinking.
C: u guys suck.

B: thank you C.

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